I must agree with Clive that climate change can make a difference. But when I think about what makes me sad, my mind always wanders to industrialization and population growth. In particular, I think about Destin (a city near my home). When I was a little girl, you could drive through Destin and see nothing but beautiful white beaches and emerald water with the occasional shopping center or hotel or gas station dotting the landscape. I guess developers began to see the pristine beaches and had dollar signs run through their minds, because now you can’t see any beach in Destin at all, unless of course you rent a condo and look at your window. Property prices soured and the pseudo-rich poured in from all over, buying up property until the small, fishing village of Destin was a booming metropolis of soccer moms, men in business suits, and rude children with way too much money and time on their hands. I cannot drive through Destin now without feeling sick to my stomach. If only a hurricane would come and wipe it all out…

A little over a year ago we moved into a house that has a fairly large yard and a wooded area across the street. I never realized how miserable I was prior to moving into this house, but the apartment complex we lived in was cramped and overcrowded in the center of town. This lack of nature caused me to be depressed, yet I never could pinpoint why other than blaming my inconsiderate neighbors. Now that we live (basically) in the middle of nowhere, I find that I am much more carefree and happy. I really do think that environment plays a large part in the moods we feel. I definitely wouldn’t call this a clinical disorder, like psychonauts have coined S.A.D.; but I would say that people should seek out their comfort zone and strive to live in it. I know that from now on, I’ll make sure I have plenty of nature around me.

Someone at work the other day asked me if I remembered Max Headroom. I find this incredibly amusing given that Cytizen himself wrote a post not too long ago on Max Headroom. And prior to Cytizen’s writing about this wonderful A.I. the world grew to love, no one had mentioned Max Headroom to me in years. My field of interest leans heavily into artificial intelligence, as I see the possibility of making computers humanistic something that could be completely achieved within the next hundred years. As of yet, I can’t wrap my mind around the full human-computer, for just the language barrier alone keeps the dream at bay. Take for instance the English language (I use this as an example because I’m not fluent in any other language at the moment) and the many connotations that can be applied with a few simple words. Slang alone can be extremely difficult for a foreign person to come to understand when learning English. But imagine not being able to hear the changes in tonality of the human voice when someone is speaking. You would have a very difficult time deciphering whether someone was angry, sad, hurt, confused, sarcastic, or anything else. Now take away being able to see the expression on the person’s face on top of the lacking tonality in their voice. Determining a person’s mood becomes something that must be felt, empathetically. Take away empathy and intuition and touch. Now you have a computer.

So, you can give a computer millions of photo and voice samples and a high-level program to determine the pattern differences in facial expressions and tonality. But what about those who don’t change either when they crack a joke? What about the constantly evolving realm of slang, where common phrases can mean many different things given a situation? I am not an expert on computational linguistics or visual recognition, nor do I know what advances have been made in this field nor the capacity of computer determination of human characteristics and qualities; but from what little I’ve read on the subject, and the few newer web-based A.I.’s that I’ve messed around with, I can only imagine that the world of artificial intelligence has a long way to go before robots can become truly humanistic. The thought of a human robot is scary for most, with movies like I, Robot (personally, I was not very impressed with this film) generated to scare the public, but regardless of the fears that may be attached to this type of technological advancement, humans will never stop their pursuit until they’ve achieved the end. Somewhere in this sphere of study, I hope to contribute my piece, however tiny and unimportant it may be. And then I can die happy. With peanuts.

Looking up information on this infamous pirate we celebrate each year, I find it rather interesting that his family was from England and his real name was William Rodgers. Of course, this is only interesting because my Nana’s maiden name is Rodgers and her family is from England. Given that my own last name is as common as Rodgers may well be or have been, I don’t think I’ll make any futile attempts at connecting my heritage to that of Billy Bowlegs. Just neat, that’s all.

Anyway, short and boring post, as per usual.

It’s funny to me when people come by and remind me that if I didn’t want my opinion commented on I shouldn’t put it on the internet. This is only partially true. You see, if I were putting my opinion on some website that I had no control over, then I would definitely care more about people’s responses. Unfortunately for the people who want to complain to me about my opinion, this is my blog. Which means I don’t have to post your comment. I don’t have to care or even pretend to care. Sucks, doesn’t it?

Other than the above ramble, I don’t have much else to say. The holiday season nears and that means a few extra days off work, the end of this semester at school, and lots of fattening food. I look forward to the smell of cinnamon and apple pie, the thick coats and fierce wind, and the undeniable cheer that accompanies the season of spend-all-your-money-on-gifts-for-other-people-because-your-secretly- hoping-they’ll-buy-cool-shit-for-you.

Creativity and loneliness go together.  This is not to say that one must be lonely to be creative, but they must afford themselves solitude in which to create.  Creative people have a particular detachment from the general world around them; they aren’t necessarily loners, but they definitely are not conformists.  This detachment allows them to view things uniquely, from a perspective that cannot be learned or expounded upon.  Without the required solitude, a creative person is stifled.  Unable to create.

Here is where people tend to disagree with me.  Since the above statement is broad, I will attempt to narrow it down a bit.  A person can be happy, healthy, romantically involved, and wealthy in friendship and still be creative.  In order to pull this off, they must be able to remove themselves from distraction and move into solitude.  It is when the person cannot recede into their own mind or set aside time to create that they lose their inspiration.  A person must afford themselves loneliness, in the form of solitude within and around themselves, in order to tap into their creativity.

And still, some may argue that this is a case-by-case manifestation.  Sure, it may well be.  But there are still a few for whom this rings true.  For me, being alone (romantically) is the catalyst for creativity.  When I am involved in a healthy relationship and can find no reason to distance myself from the comfort of it, I lose the ability to write.  For the past three years I’ve been comfortable.  As a result, I have not been able to tap into the same creative passion that once fueled my writing.

The decision to choose between comfort and loneliness doesn’t seem to be a difficult choice.  But when loneliness brings out a side of yourself that you truly adore, the decision is markedly hard.  You find yourself asking, “Am I willing to sacrifice my creativity for this?”  Sometimes, the answer is yes.  I don’t think it fair (but what really is?) that one should come at the cost of the other.  This the choice that we, that I, have to make.  And although I miss writing the way I did, at this point in my life, I’d rather be happy and comfortable than happy and lonely.

This is why I don’t write like that anymore.

When I ended the relationship I was in, I went through a long period of depression and loneliness. It was hard not having someone there to confide in, to hold, or to argue with. I had friends, yet none too close. I fell into writing poetry and taking up residence on a blog site, attempting to find my voice and a world that I felt comfortable in. I went back to college as an English major and practiced Voltaire’s idea of ‘cultivating one’s garden’. I spent an entire year single, paying no attention to those who showed interest in me and spending a lot of time with myself, by myself.

At the end of this period of time, I had learned more about who I was. I felt more confident, more capable, and more independent than I ever had. I set my standards for any relationship to come in the future and held to them as to ensure that I never return to the depth of codependency I had experienced. By spending time alone, I knew what I wanted out of life (which wasn’t to be an English major, mind you), in a partner, and from myself. For me, choosing to be alone was the wisest decision I have ever made. I now know that there is nothing negative about being alone; I would do it again if I felt compelled to.

There is nothing wrong with being codependent or wanting someone to share your life with. The problem lies when you lose your sense of self and cannot function without a partner. Each person was given the ability to be happy and successful alone, but too often I find people jumping into partnerships that eventually erode who they are. By the time they realize that something isn’t right, they are too jaded and blind to recognize the catalyst is within them. I had become that person and it did not suit me. Sometimes we have to make decisions that don’t feel good in order to heal ourselves. And sometimes, this is the first step to happiness.

Tonight, however, I think I may have found the solution. The method falls far from keeping to the rules of “specialize” in a certain genre to attract a specific group of readers, yet I think that it may at least keep me writing while I’m stuck in my busy schedule.

So, the solution: answer a question of the day. I noted that on the blog host Vox, bloggers will choose questions of the day and answer them. Relatively simple, huh? This seems to be an easy way to keep writing and maintain the two readers I’ve attracted over this blog’s life. So, starting tomorrow, I will answer a question of the day(s). I can’t expect myself to find time to write each day, but I can definitely write a couple times a week. I apologize to anyone coming here for more information on ant killer or arm sleeves (although this one is due another post as the sleeve is about 9 hours from completion; I’m 17 hours in right now).

Let’s hope this works!

I do intend to make this site a bit more manageable and update more frequently in the near future.

Please hang in there, my single visitor (per site stats, they never lie).  Er, I think I am my only visitor.

What is wrong with America? Yes, our prisons are overcrowded. Yes, when someone commits a crime their family suffers. Do we really believe that a nonviolent offender should get off early because they didn’t directly harm someone? Come on, people. If you don’t want your family to suffer, don’t commit the crime.

Nonviolent crimes include drug offense, embezzlement, tax fraud, and identity theft, just to name a few. No, these crimes did not physically harm anyone, but these are not crimes without victims. When someone decides to participate in a nonviolent crime, there can be thousands of people affected. Tax fraud pulls money away from the support of our troops, education system, and health care systems. Identity theft can ruin someone’s life. Drug offenders affect hundreds to thousands of people by providing them with the means to physically and mentally harm themselves and others. What kind of message are we sending to the younger generation when we state that these offenders over a certain age can be set free?

There are laws in place to regulate and govern society. Allowing a range of flexibility in these areas shows the world that we are desperate for a “quick fix” and not firm in our actions. Its sad and thoroughly disappoints me. I can only hope that this bill does not pass and that these nonviolent offenders serve the sentences they brought upon themselves.